The Unspoken Challenge of Leadership: Fear of Being Seen
When we think of leadership, we often focus on the skills needed to manage teams, set direction, and achieve results. But there’s another layer of leadership—one that is deeply personal and rarely discussed: what it means to step into the spotlight and truly be seen.
For many, especially women in leadership, becoming more visible can be a source of anxiety, panic, and even fear. This is particularly true when you’re transitioning from a role where you felt comfortable and confident to one where you’re stepping into something new—like leading a larger team.
I recently had a conversation with a client, we’ll call Ashley, who was facing this exact dilemma. Ashley had been thriving in her current role for several years, feeling confident, comfortable, and respected. However, as she was being encouraged to step into a higher role—overseeing a team of about 80 people—she felt an overwhelming sense of doubt. It wasn’t the responsibilities of the new role that scared her; it was the thought of becoming more public, more visible, and, in her mind, more exposed. She worried that every move, every word would be under scrutiny—suddenly, her confidence felt like it was slipping away.
The fear of being seen is a challenge for many leaders—especially those moving from expert roles to more public leadership roles. Many of us assume that if we have the right skills, we should be able to step up with confidence.
Yet for Ashley, the fear of being seen wasn’t just about skills; it touched something far more personal. It was rooted in an experience she had in early childhood, where she felt ridiculed by her classmates for something she said in school. From that moment, she concluded that to stay safe she would need to stay quiet, to hide … staying below the radar would ensure her survival. Once internalized, this belief led to feeling vulnerable and unsafe when she had to speak up—no matter how accomplished she was, Ashley often felt unsure of herself.
What Ashley was experiencing isn’t unique. In fact, I would argue that every adult has some version of this—a version of themselves that has remained stuck and fearful, rooted in beliefs formed in the past.
For many, these early experiences can create internal barriers that hinder our ability to step fully into leadership roles. This is where leadership development and personal growth intersect. Leadership development isn’t just about gaining new skills or acquiring more responsibilities; our opportunity lies in recognizing and releasing the emotional and psychological barriers that hold us back, and fully stepping into our potential.
Navigating the Fear of Being Seen
The good news? Fear of being seen, while powerful, is not unconquerable. Ashley’s journey wasn’t about avoiding the promotion; it was about making peace with the feelings that came with it. To step into leadership with confidence, we need to make friends with the parts of ourselves that want to hide, the parts that may feel unworthy or are afraid of being exposed.
In Ashley’s case, the work we did together was about acknowledging these feelings, allowing them to be seen and understood. By reconnecting with her inner self and recognizing that the messages she internalized as a child were not her truth, she could begin to redefine her relationship with visibility. She could start to see that being seen as a leader wasn’t about exposing herself to criticism or shame—it was about showing up in service to the project at hand and lending the insightful, intelligent and empowered parts of herself to lead.
If you’re stepping into a more public leadership role, or you’re struggling with the internal barriers that come with increased visibility, I encourage you to take a step back and examine what beliefs, fears, or messages from your past might be holding you back.
What’s one kindness you can extend to a stuck or fearful part of yourself today? Do this now, and notice what happens.
P.S. If you’re ready to embrace visibility and lead with confidence, join me in our upcoming small-group program. Together, we'll work on breaking these barriers and stepping into leadership that feels authentic and powerful. Space is limited to 12, and applications are now OPEN here!
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