Leadership: Not What You Expected?
Stepping into leadership is often imagined as stepping into your power—guiding teams, making strategic decisions, and driving impactful change. But what happens when that picture doesn’t align with reality?
And instead, you might find yourself rushing around to put out fires, unsure how to grow your team, and doubting yourself—unsure how effective you are as a leader.
Is this the leadership you envisioned? Or does it sometimes feel suffocating?
If you’ve found yourself in this space, you are not alone. Many leaders feel the weight of these challenges and wonder: Is it just me?
What if it’s not you?
What if a cookie-cutter template of what a leader “should” be, the one that was handed to you, just doesn’t fit YOU?
Here are the “shoulds” I hear the most:
A polished leader always has the answers
A motivating leader never hesitates and intuitively knows how to coach people
A visionary leader exudes unwavering confidence.
Trying to live by these “shoulds” and embody this ideal will leave you feeling like you’re trying to squeeze into a one-size-fits-all suit—stiff, awkward, constraining, and never quite right.
The Trap of the “Cookie-Cutter Leader”
This expectation of what leadership “should” look like is more than just unhelpful—it can be harmful. When you try to conform to a predefined mold, you start to disconnect from yourself, second-guessing your instincts and diminishing your unique strengths.
You might even feel like an imposter in your own role.
This is when leadership becomes performative instead of authentic—and suffocation sets in—when you’re busy playing a role rather than stepping into the truth of who you are.
What Leadership Really Is
Here’s the thing: leadership isn’t about fitting into a mold. It’s about breaking the mold entirely.
True leadership starts with embracing the uniqueness of who you are. It’s not about having all the answers or always being "on." It’s about leaning into your values, your strengths, and even your vulnerabilities to connect with those you lead.
True leadership:
Builds trust because people see you, not a persona.
Fosters innovation because you’re not afraid to think differently.
Empowers others because your authenticity gives them permission to be themselves too.
Reclaiming Your Leadership
If leadership feels suffocating, it’s time to ask yourself:
Whose expectations am I trying to meet?
What part of me am I silencing to fit into this role?
How can I lead in a way that feels more true to me?
Start by defining leadership for yourself. For some, that might mean leaning into their quieter nature and leading with empathy and careful thought. For others, it might mean taking bold risks and making their vision known. Leadership doesn’t look one way. It looks your way.
You weren’t chosen for your role because you’re a carbon copy of someone else. You’re here because of you.
The sooner you stop trying to emulate an ideal, the sooner you can step into your own leadership.
If you're ready to lead with authenticity, clarity, and confidence—and define leadership in a way that truly reflects you—join us.
“Leading From Solid Ground” starts soon. This new program is designed for women like YOU—a senior level leader who is intent on getting out of the tactical and into the strategic. Together, we’ll navigate the challenges of this new territory, unearth your unique leadership, and equip you with the tools to lead effectively and sustainably.
Space is limited to 12, ensuring deep leadership transformation. Apply today to secure your seat, and take the first step toward leading with confidence, clarity, and authenticity.
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